Chapter One: You are not your appointments

"Being on time, being late, being early… how can you be late for the Now, man? You are already here."
- Maharishi H. Gus Stukowski

The Procrastinator's relationship with an appointment most closely approximates Zeno's paradox. You may recall that Zeno, a Greek philosopher of the Eleatic school, preceding Socrates, observed that as an arrow travels towards its target it must first get half way there. It takes time for the arrow to do this - less, it's true, than the time it takes for the whole distance to the target, but it takes some time. Zeno further observed that before reaching this half-way point, the arrow must first travel half the way to that midpoint. This also takes some time. And it must travel half the way to the quarter point, half way to the eighth point etc., etc., etc., each section taking some time to accomplish. Since there are an infinite number of these sections and each one would require some amount of time to do, the arrow must take an infinite amount of time to reach its target which is impossible, so the arrow can't move.

How does this relate to the procrastinator and appointments? This is what I think about when I should be preparing for a meeting. It's really weird about the arrow. Also, did you know that Zeno, not Socrates, is the attributed inventor of dialectic? Totally overshadowed by the other guy… so so not fair.

Still there are important parallels between skillful procrastination in getting out the door to make an appointment and Zeno's arrow. As it comes time for the procrastinator to leave for an appointment time itself begins to slow down into these half-way chunks. This adds both sweetness to the precious extra moments of activity (even television viewing benefits from this technique) and a greater attention to the details of the moment on the way, as every uncooperative driver and mischance become rehearsed as the Reason For Being Late.

Let's take the case of Dan who has an appointment with Marshall at 5:30. Early in the day Dan estimates the amount of time it will take him to drive in his car from his apartment to the coffee shop where he is meeting Marshall. Like Zeno this first conception is ideal in that it does not include traffic, parking or getting gas. [While Zeno might not have had to worry about his arrow finding time to park or get gas, it is almost certain that the person the arrow actually stopped in would take issue with his assertion that it was not, in fact, moving. To some reality will always count.]

Dan's estimate is joyful and optimistic - it is a short drive to the coffee shop and it will take 20 minutes to get there. Dan's estimate is joyful and optimistic because procrastinators are joyful and optimistic people. Life is good! Things go well! It's a beautiful day! Procrastinators are Stop-and-Smell-the-Roses kind of people. This is why they are to be emulated and admired.

As the watched for departure time of 5:15 p.m. arrives Dan begins to consider leaving. [The attentive among you will have noted that Dan's estimate should have put the watched for departure time at 5:10 p.m. - but this is not a real time, because it is not in an appropriate quarter hour increment, and is therefore rounded up. (Remember - we're optimists!)]. Dan has now also made a second very deft procrastination move as he has shifted his original departure activity from driving off in his car to leaving his apartment. He has done this because it takes no time to leave one's apartment, so it doesn't really add any time.

He gets up to brush his teeth - there was some spinach at lunch that stuck in between his front teeth that makes him look like a hick and it's important he make a good impression on Marshall. Brushing one's teeth also doesn't really take any time and so that doesn't add anything. Oh! And he's got to feed the cats! That's right, he won't be back 'till late so that'll just take a quick second… and then he really does need to put that meatloaf from lunch back in the fridge. Is it still good anymore? Better look it over a bit and give it smell - don't want to die of botulism… and put those plates in the sink… and run water on them, otherwise all that stuff will be solid as a rock and impossible to get off tomorrow. Ah! There! And we're out the door!

…what time is it?

Well it's about 5:25 p.m. He's still not late! Reason for a quick fist-pump of celebration. One quick parallel we see between Dan and Zeno's arrow is that the operable chunks of time continue to get smaller and smaller. Dan started working with twenty minute blocks, then fifteen, and before he gets behind the wheel he's already working in 5 minute blocks. And then he's off in the car, behind the really slow lady and the guy who just had to turn left, and he's in line to get gas and by the time he is struggling to find a parking space Dan is living in a world of seconds. He is intensely PRESENT and very much alive.

Shortly, at 6:15 p.m., he will relate to Marshall all the amazing things that happened in those drawn out seconds and how odd it was that it proved so difficult to cross town at rush hour and park within hiking distance of this cool café where people eat dinner. It's particularly strange to Dan because he is an optimist! And it's so weird that it took so long to actually get here, finally, breathless, with clean teeth and very much alive. Thank God Marshall was just hanging out having espresso the whole time! This will almost certainly not impact his decision to hire Dan.

The most striking parallel of course is the infinitude of small steps, each between Dan and the door, each taking a smaller and smaller chunk of time , but when added together the arrow just doesn't move. What sets Dan apart as a great man though is his optimism. Dan expects great things from life, he expects the elements and the accidents to go his way - and that is truly magnificent. What's more he expects the people he keeps waiting to understand when things don't work out as they ought. Why shouldn't they understand? It was so weird that there was all that traffic!

A lesser man might think "experience has shown me that I am consistently 45 minutes late and that impacts people in a way I don't like - I should start leaving 45 minutes before I need to, I'll set an alarm to remind me." Such a person would miss all the intensity, all the concentrated attention, all the aliveness of watching the world unfold fresh, and standing tall (well... a little hunched) in the face of peoples' annoyance and non-acceptance. Being Present means enjoying the same lessons over and over and over.

In terms of being where we're supposed to be and ready to go, most of us are consistently 5 to 10 minutes late. It's a sign of our strength and potential that we are not consistently 5 to 10 minutes early. That would be weird. Why would anyone want to arrive somewhere and wait? It's much better to do the waiting before you leave. But by following these simple guidelines you too can stretch those moments out, and experience the intensity of the Present:

1. Be an optimist! Don't make allowances for "circumstances." That's just negative ju ju man.

2. Keep your attention on the most important part of the picture - in Dan's case, the drive time. This keeps your time management uncluttered from all that peripheral stuff that will just happen anyway.

3. Keep things in perspective! Is it really so important that we start "promptly at 5:30"? Like they've got somewhere else to be? Well, they might but so what - doesn't everybody?

4. MOST IMPORTANT: Don't let previous experience color your sense for the possibility of Now! That is what we call a "Past defined conversation" and is just you putting yourself in a little box of sameness. Every moment is new - possibility is always possible.

"The real pitfall here is some people just decide they're going to be on time. This decision puts the focus on being somewhere else and somewhen else, and you start to let what you ARE doing now be influenced by what you WILL do LATER. You see such people with alarms and reminders and little prepared lists of what they've got to get together to get out the door. Just doing whatever it takes to be on time. Always living for some other moment. Very sad, very sad." - M. H. Gus