Chapter Three: Indecision?

"Should I stay or should I go now.

If I stay there will be trouble...

...if I go it will be double."

     -The Clash

Perhaps the most simple and straightforward method for stretching out the Now is the very deft tactic of being unclear about what to do in it. More than any other choice this one will cause the Now to spiral endlessly out in front of one like bad abdominal gas in a tail wind.  Indecision is the most effective way of extending the present moment.  Except for fear of failure.  Fear of failure is really good too. Fear of failure is probably just as good or better than indecision but has a different quality and makeup to it so it's tough to compare... Indecision is easier.  Unless you had the right kind of childhood - then fear of failure is a snap! It's just right there! But we're talking about Indecision aren't we. Okay.

In any case, Indecision is an excellent choice for extending the Now. Fed by the tributaries of Ambivalence, Indifference, Apathy, Uncertainty and plain old Cowardice, this mighty river of Stop flows in the hands of a master.  Once adept, you too can extend almost any moment to unreasonable, nearly unbearable lengths.

Indecision rapidly inserts a usable space between you and Action, making it one of the basic procrastination moves, used in combination with other more potent moves which might take more time to bring to bear. In a way Indecision is the quick jab that is followed by the knock-out punch of more serious character flaws.  Let's look more closely at the enabling tendencies that let this puppy out to play.

Ambivalence

Commonly confused with Indifference, Ambivalence actually means an individual has very strong feelings about the alternatives and so cannot choose.  Found mostly in passionate, anxious people this is an excellent option for the more energetic among us.  Try nail biting the next time you are faced with a choice - any choice.  How does that feel?  Like home?  Make the situation matter much more than it does.  In fact it is helpful to believe the choice will reflect on you personally, your character, and that your mother will know, and that at your 25 year High School Reunion Craig Olsen will find out, he was always such a dick, and he'll be drunk and grab the mic during the boring "Remember When" part and blab it to the whole rec center amid shrieks of feedback and you will stand there, surrounded by an empty space, numb, your face bright red, and you will wet your pants.

...if that doesn't make it tough to choose between the steak tar tar and the pasta dish I don't know what will.

Indifference

Indifference, not having strong feelings either way, is the relaxed, easy going path to Indecision.  This is the option of choice for happy, go-with-the-flow people who just want to have fun (but don't know how). This most commonly presents as the belief that you personally are there for reasons other than this particular choice.  It's not so much the steak tar tar or the pasta that brought you here, but the ambiance and the delight in her company.  This deceptively simple belief (and the inner darkness and terror it represents) can make that choice puzzling and extend the Time Before Ordering long enough to seriously annoy your date.

The classic expression of this point of view is the exchange:

     "What do you want to do?"
     "I don't know, what do you want to do?"

[Note: this is often rendered with an apathetic tone - however as you will see this is not an exchange of apathy and should more properly be delivered in the maddeningly light and air-headed tone of that twit friend who just follows everyone else around. ...my apologies if that happens to be you.]

While this exchange seems innocent enough it is fueled by deep insecurities and crises of self-worth that can greatly aid the procrastinator.  To see if Indifference can work for you, try on this helpful Self-Talk.

SELF TALK TIPS

• "I don't matter."
• "No one wants to know what I think really."
• "Does this person like me?"

Think about it. If you're trying to figure out whether ordering the steak tar tar will make the waiter (not to mention your date) like you, your Time Before Order will be delayed so long that both of them will want to spit in your food.

Coming Soon! Stay tuned as we explore Indecision further with Apathy! Uncertainty! and Cowardice!